A Little More Self-Awareness Will Change Your Life... If You Let It
About five minutes ago, I sat down on my bed and opened my laptop to begin writing today’s blog post on self-awareness. I then reached for the remote control to my television and began scrolling through all the potential tv shows I could put on while writing. Of course, I have my go-to shows that are easy to “watch” while working - meaning, they’re really just background noise. Then, I stumbled on a few tv shows that are brand new that I’ve been wanting to see. And I had a moment. Before pressing play, I thought, “Don’t sabotage yourself.” I knew that if I put on a show I’ve been looking forward to, no writing would get done. I even took it a step further and didn’t put on any show at all especially since I’ve been enjoying a 24/7 stream of peaceful piano music on YouTube as my “background noise” the last few days.
See I know that I put on television while I work because I don’t always want to put in the effort and energy working and writing requires. So I fool myself into thinking I’m working by having my laptop open and my fingers on the keyboard. I spew out a few sentences that don’t actually make sense or have any kind of natural rhythm and then later I complain about how I’m not as far along as I want to be. I know this about myself. I’m aware of it. And today, this time, I decided not to lie to myself about my ability to “multitask.” Self-awareness is a great trait to have, to practice, to pursue, but today’s note on the subject is a reminder that it won’t do you any good if you don’t choose the thing that’s in pursuit of who you really want to be. All the small moments - just like the one I had - will start to add up and slowly, but surely, you’ll begin to see the life and the version of yourself that you’ve been envisioning.